Thoughts: Christmas 2010
by Francesca Montag
Summary: Christmas with the Doctor and Rose. What might have been, what could have been. Some angst, fluff and all of the above. Involves Nine, Ten, Human Doctor and Rose.
1. Bookstore & Water

**Bookstore**

Geoff was sitting outside of his favorite used bookstore, reading a dog-eared copy of _A Christmas Carol_. It was December, near Christmas and seeing as it was unseasonably warm for the time of year, was trying to drag himself into the spirit of the season as best he could.

So far, the words on the page had yet to translate into anything outwardly.

Sighing, quite a defeated sound in his ears, he placed his paperback on the small table in front of him and lowered his head in his hands. He rubbed his face with such vigor that he thought for a second that he'd send his contacts flying off of his eyeballs.

"Hey, mate, you all right?" said a voice in front of him.

It took Geoff awhile to realize that the voice was speaking to him. It was a pretty voice. _Could voices be pretty? _he thought. He wasn't sure, but if they could be, the one speaking to him just now most certainly was.

Lifting his head and uncovering his eyes in the process, he began, "I'm so-." But that is where that question ended, for when he opened his eyes and saw the pair of honey ones staring back at him, he most surely thought he felt his heart stop.

She was gorgeous. A pile of unnaturally blond hair was piled on her head, tendrils of it framing her face. It was the eyes, however, that made him feel like he was dying and living at the same time.

Unable to articulate, he sat there, staring at her.

Geoff saw as she quickly pulled out the chair next to him and how her forehead wrinkled in what he guessed was confusion. Her lips were moving, a controlled but frantic motion - if such a thing existed.

Suddenly, she placed a hand on his and just like that, it's like the world came into focus again.

He coughed and said, "Come again?" his voice sounded like a squeak, but he was so out of sorts it didn't even occur to him to wince.

"Are you all right? Your eyes…went a bit out of focus there…."

Nodding before she even finished her sentence, he quickly scrambled for an actual answer, "Yes, yes…I'm' fine actually just…a bit tired, is all…" A meek excuse but an excuse all the same. She was a stranger after all.

Her hand left his (_oh, that's a shame_) and she smiled a brilliant hypnotizing smile at him – all teeth, "My name's Rose."

"Geoff…Geoff is me…hi," so _lame_ he thought.

Rose chuckled good naturedly, "I was just inside looking for something for my…friend and I saw you lookin' kinda…well…stressed and that's why I asked how you were."

Geoff smiled awkwardly and was about to ask her something about herself when a shadow came into view, covering them. He turned to look and saw a tall man dressed in leather, his brow furrowed and, had he met the man before, could swear that he looked almost…angry.

"What's this then," it sounded like it should be a question but was so stern that it came out an accusation.

Rose rolled her eyes and stood up, a paper sack hidden from view behind her back. "Nothing Doctor, just making new friends is all."

_Friend. _Geoff rather liked the sound of that.

The Doctor (_he wondered what the man's real name was, but decided he didn't particularly want to die for asking _that _question_) folded his arms to his chest, a defiant and threatening look if Geoff ever saw one.

"Is that right," again, not a question.

Geoff saw Rose place her hand on the Doctor's leather-covered arm and saw how his scowl had almost magically faded away. _Ah, _he thought, _so that's what this is._

"Come on then, almost time for Christmas," she smiled brightly, her pink tongue sticking to the side of her mouth to her teeth. It was an adorable mannerism. He saw that the Doctor was probably thinking the same thing.

"All right then," and in a motion that Geoff could tell he'd done many times before, the Doctor gently grasped Rose's hand and smile down at her – a smile that was meant only for her. He tugged, leading her away.

Rose laughed. A laugh that was more than just a laugh and that suddenly made Geoff feel very lonely.

Thinking he was quiet forgotten by then, he stood up and grabbed his book.

"Hey!" said the voice again.

Geoff turned and was surprised to see her, Rose, again in front of him. Looking beyond her, he could see the tall and menacing man waiting impatiently for her.

"Y-yes?"

She smiled, all teeth and tongue again, he felt his confusion soften.

Rose tip-toed slightly and placed a surprising kiss to his cheek, "Merry Christmas!" Before he could register what had happened, he saw her running to her Doctor. He saw the Doctor smirk and roll his eyes and talking something about "pretty."

Geoff continued staring at them until they turned the corner. A smile growing on his lips, he turned and walked the way towards home – feeling a lot more in the Christmas spirit.

**Water**

The water was warm and drowning her completely from neck to toes. She felt semi-weightless as she let her mind wander to what she liked to call the "danger zone." Memories of a life long ago on a different soil shot at her as she closed her eyes, surrendering herself to it. It hardly happened anymore – life had taken its toll, but sometimes she couldn't help but let the veil cover her like it so often did when she first got to her new world.

Rose felt the wisps of hair plaster against the wetness of her neck. Her hair was darker now and she idly wondered what _he'd _think of it. Memories of his short, hardly there hair of his first life (with her) melted in her senses. She missed the Doctor, all of him, but the first one had a special hold on her. How he wore his jacket like a shield, his ocean-colored eyes piercing through her caused her a chill even then. _Red bicycle when you were twelve_, she still couldn't believe he'd done that for her – but was it really that surprising? She had nearly killed herself for him and him for her – nothing was impossible to believe. Not anymore.

Like a slideshow, images of the second Doctor with wild, unruly hair crept in. A sliver of hurt pounded in her chest. In some ways, he had seemed more broken than the first. But she remembered holding his hand properly that one Christmas, ash falling around them. They were tentative – the strings of doubt entangled with their words. As soon as she touched him, however, she knew…oh she just _knew_ it was him. Rose wondered where he was at the moment – if he still thought of her from time to time. Did he wear a different face? She let out an exasperated sigh as she decided that she didn't want to know if he did. She'd love him no matter what he looked like – but she couldn't and _wouldn't _think of it.

They could have spent _so_ many more years together.

Rose sighed as she stood up from her bath and wrapped the fluffy purple towel around her. Humming to herself, trying to forget the nostalgia, she patted herself dry and pulled on her clothes. Feeling as comfortable as she could, wearing her black sweats and an old Torchwood sweatshirt, she padded barefoot down the hall and into the TV room. The loud voices of George Bailey and his angel Clarence flooded the room.

She smiled as the nostalgia lifted from her mind so she could focus on the very real present.

"_It's a Wonderful Life_ Rose!" exclaimed the Doctor – his excitement in every syllable. He was sitting on the sofa, the lights of the Christmas tree setting a soft glow on his face. The only light in the room and he still looked gorgeous.

Rose sat down next to him, pulling her feet up and under a cushion to keep warm. His arm came around to gather her closer to him. She snuggled, her head on his chest – the sound of his single heartbeat beating steadily in her ear. Rose listened to George Bailey's incredulous remarks to his salvation.

"It most certainly is," she whispered as the Doctor's free hand intertwined with hers.

* * *

_Hope you like, more coming each day!_


	2. Red & Wrong

**Red**

It was New York in the late 1980s. This December had been a bit warmer than the previous ones. Instead of heavy jackets and scarves, people wore light sweaters and even sandals. The Doctor shook his head as he stood across the street from a boutique his companion had run into about 30 minutes before. He'd surprised her with what he thought was going to be New York in the winter, but that was hardly the case. There were taxi cabs lined up along the street, a bustle of people in the early afternoon.

He was impatient. It was in his nature. That's what he kept telling himself as he paced back in forth in front of a shoe store window. Rubbish store – they didn't even have any of his favorite sneakers. The Doctor looked down at his black-Converse-covered feet and smiled. It was the one thing that remained from what he always wore. He'd traded in his pinstripes and a heavy coat in favor of a sleek tux. He hardly liked to dress up, but he was taking Rose to a matinee of a one-man show of _A Christmas Carol _(_he was surprised that such a story could be a one-man show, and he thought that the leading-one-man himself seemed quite familiar, still, he shrugged it off_) and then a late dinner after – he wanted to look his best.

The Doctor coughed suddenly, choking on nothing but air. He had no intentions of thinking as to why he wanted to look his best.

Either way, Rose thought it was highly unfair (_though, where Rose got this from, he would never understand_) that he would have something so posh to wear and that she had to settle for whatever she could find. He knew that she adored the wardrobe on the Tardis and understood that it had to do more with being in New York where _everything _seemed posh. In the end, he couldn't resist the pout that surfaced as she looked at his suit.

He had to admit, the tux fit him rather nicely – except that the bowtie was bothering him. He missed his tie.

Doing a rather excellent imitation of the Tyler pout, he had failed to hear the Tyler in question's calls to him.

On the third, "Doctor!" he finally stopped his pacing and looked across the street. Instantly, the noises of the city melted into their backdrop and all he could see was her. Rose was dressed in the most exquisite red dress. It was clingy in all the right places and hugged her curves the way he had never seen before.

Not that he'd been looking.

Her hair was loose and wavy – it's natural state. It was flying this way and that around her and yet it didn't seem to bother her. Her make up was light as far as he could see. She looked like an angel – and instead of finding the thought cheesy, he realized that it was the best description possible.

The only thing that made it from seeming completely true was the dark red gloss that clung to her lips – that made her appear all too…

_Stop it. _

Oh, right.

He shook his head (as if that would make the thoughts go away) and was ready to call out to her to stop walking so he could help her along. However, before he could do that, he saw her smile at the oncoming cars and one by one they all seemed to be stopping for her. _Oh, but why wouldn't they? _he thought. Gracefully, she weaved her way through the halted taxi cabs until she was safely on the other side with him.

The Doctor couldn't keep his eyes off of her and her curves – he tried, he really did but it appeared futile. She looked stunning.

The staring may have been a bit too intense as he noticed the crimson filling her cheeks. He smiled tenderly at her.

"You look…." What could he say? Gorgeous? Beautiful? Nothing seemed right enough and yet it all fit.

Rose chuckled nervously, pulling her dresses' short train off the street, "Thanks."

He held out his arm to her, "Shall we, Dame Rose?"

She laughed, more heartily this time, and took his arm, "Of course, Sir Doctor."

They walked down the sidewalk in comfortable silence when Rose said, "Thanks for the early Christmas present – always wanted to see New York in the winter."

The Doctor laughed, "Rose, this is in no way New York in the winter," Rose looked at him, her eyebrow raised, he backpedaled, "I mean, of _course _it's New York in the winter…_technically_…but it should be snowing and you should be bundled up instead of nearly…" _half-naked_, he almost finished.

Rose's eyes widened but she didn't comment on it. Thankfully.

"Well, I still always wanted to see New York – so thank you," she smiled at him with glee and he felt his hearts swell.

He grinned at her and tugged at his bowtie, the one uncomfortable detail of the day.

Rose stopped and pulled his hands from his collar, "Stop doing that, you're gonna ruin it." She proceeded to fix his bowtie, her hands dangerously close to his neck and leaving him with nothing to do except look down at her.

It was so domestic, her fixing his collar like that. It frightened him, just how much he liked it.

Suddenly, a passerby bumped rudely into Rose, causing her to fall towards him. He held on to steady her and wound up with his hands on her lower back – which is how he noticed just how low the back of the dress actually dipped. He swallowed hard.

"How rude," she commented, but just as soon as the angry crease appeared on her forehead, it disappeared. Her concentration was back on fixing his bowtie.

"I might as well take it off, I can't stand it," he commented, hands still on her back.

Rose didn't seem to mind as she looked up at him – hands still on his chest.

"Yeah, but bowties are cool," her tongue pressed against teeth in the smile that heated his hearts.

Grinning back, teeth glistening, he nodded and whispered, "Yeah, I guess they are."

**Wrong**

Rose walked nervously around the barren landscape. There were dead plants everywhere around her and the air was crisp. Each time she inhaled, it bruised her lungs. She couldn't understand why, but the planet felt _wrong. _She hadn't seen the Doctor in about an hour and he never took that long in getting back to her.

She heard a bird or some kind of animal off in the distance, the noise surprising her. It had seemed that they were the only two on the planet. If there were birds, there could be other things lurking in the dark. Rose shivered in her coat, her worry for the Doctor increased exponentially.

_Nice way to spend a Christmas Eve_, she thought sadly. He had promised her that they would go and have a proper Christmas with her mum and Mickey at the Estate. She knew he didn't like it there, that it was all too domestic for him, but he had promised.

_He wouldn't even have to stay, he could just…_, Rose found that she couldn't finish the thought. She wanted him with her…all the time.

That's what made this so much harder.

Honestly, she would have run off by then – wandered off being her jeopardy-friendly self, but she didn't want to move without him this time.

Her hand itched to be in his.

_When had it began?_ she thought. She couldn't capture the moment in which her hand seemed created to fit in his.

Rose could see the Tardis off in the distance on a hill. For a second, she considered going back and keeping warm, but how could she when he was out there somewhere?

She felt tears sting her eyes suddenly at the thought of something horrible happening to him. Idly, she thought of his Christmas gift hidden under her bed. It was an exquisite leather-bound copy of poetry by John Keats. She'd heard him mention it once in passing and took note of it for whenever they stopped at home or in some other time and place where she could find a copy of it.

Of course, she figured that he'd probably already have a copy, but it was the only gift that seemed to fit. Maybe he'd read some to her – she had never been keen about poetry.

She continued walking about, in circles it seemed, focused entirely on his imminent return.

Somewhere near her, a branch broke and she turned toward the sound. A deep breath escaped her as she saw her Doctor, big ears and all, walking toward her.

Scratch that, he was running. Running rather quickly.

_Uh oh.__  
_

"Rose!" he shouted, "Run!"

He didn't need to tell her twice. Immediately, Rose turned and ran to where the Tardis stood. The air beat inside of her lungs as her legs carried her as fast as they could. She dared not look behind her, the sound of the Doctor's heavy boots her only consolation. He caught up to her and held out his hand. Grabbing it like it was her lifeline (which it was), they ran even faster toward their destination.

This running was different. It wasn't full of fun and smiles. Only determination.

It felt like forever, but must have only been minutes when they reached the Tardis. He unlocked it quickly, grabbed and pushed her inside before barging in himself. The Doctor ran to the console, pushed and pulled and thumped, sending them into the vortex.

Rose stood frozen against a coral beam, air rushing through her lungs and throat until it left her only to be gasped back in again. She stared at him and his somewhat shaken form.

He looked up at her suddenly, his eyes showing some emotion that she only remembered seeing once long ago.

Without a word, she walked steadily across the grating to him. The Doctor stood eerily still, watching her every movement.

She couldn't describe what she exactly needed or wanted. Rose just wanted to…look at him. Wanted to know that he was there…_really _there. She reached out, her hand on his jacket.

Then the tears boiled over. They had built up waiting for him, her eagerness to see him being the only thing that kept her together. And without her realizing it, she was grasping at him, pulling him into a much needed embrace. She didn't know what had been after them, didn't really think she wanted to know. Rose only understood that she had wanted him at her side on that planet where things just felt…_wrong_. And that, for a moment, she thought she had lost him.

The Doctor hugged her tightly, cradling the back of her head. She could feel him smile, his cheek grazing hers.

"Talk about a merry Christmas," his voice lacked its usual strength.

"Oh, _shut it_," she demanded as she hugged him tighter.

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading :D_


	3. Tardis & Milkshake

**Tardis**

"Ow!" Rose bit down on her tongue to keep from hissing out the expletives that wanted to rush through her teeth.

She sucked on her finger – anything to ease the sting of the needle in her skin. _That's why_, she explained to herself, _I don't do _this _kind of domestic. _

Rose was on her bed in her room in the Tardis with the door locked. The Doctor was busy tinkering or breaking (_was there really a difference_) something under the console leaving her to work on the task without interruption. Dressed in comfortable pajamas – her favorite purple sleeping shorts and tank, she was laying against the mahogany headboard, legs crossed with her project in hand. She had called her mum earlier in the week (whatever a week consisted on the Tardis) and she had informed Rose that Christmas was next week. Surprised that she wasn't keeping track of her days aboard the time-traveling ship, she right away thought about what was best to give the Doctor. The man…_errr_…alien could have anything he wanted – what could she possibly give him?

And then it occurred to her that it should be homemade – and by _that _definition the Tardis had become her home. So the needlepoint whose needle was currently trying to stab her was quite fitting. Rose hadn't worked on something like this since she was in middle school and her mum thought it would keep her occupied and out of trouble (_ha!_). Still, she always did enjoy it and thought of no better reason to start up again.

She was just doing the last stitches on the word "TARDIS" when the sound of her doorknob jingling made her jump and caused her to drop the cloth from her hands and over the side of the bed.

"Rose Tyler – _why _is your door locked?" the Doctor's voice sounded perplexed and angry at the same time. Rose rolled her eyes – never occurred to him why a human female would want the door closed.

_So daft._

Before she could answer, Rose heard the humming of the sonic screwdriver and the popping of the doorknob as it was opened. Her mouth agape, she stared at him in disbelief.

"I could have been changin'!" she wasn't, but seriously!

He looked down at her, his arms crossed, "But you weren't. Besides – MY ship!"

Rose rolled her eyes.

"Now that we have that settled," his almost electric blue eyes roamed around her room before they settled back on her, "what were you doing behind a locked door?"

Rose pushed herself up on her knees and laughed. What would the Time Lord do if she answered him in a less than innocent way? Never even occurred to him.

Ignoring a slight pang of disappointment at that – she remembered exactly what she was doing. Her laugh trickled out until it disappeared.

"Uh…" she started – quite not knowing how to come up with a lie quickly. Lies, for some reason, never came fast enough around him.

Then, she clumsily turned and lurched behind her to the side of the bed where her needlepoint had fallen. Almost instantly, the Doctor walked with his lengthy steps and easily reached down to grab what she was trying to grasp.

_How did he do that?_

"What's this then," his favorite question that wasn't really a question. He'd tell you what it was no matter what you said.

Rose sat back down on the bed and grumpily searched for the gift's frame in her bedside table. Might as well finish it – no point in waiting.

She was so busy gathering what she needed that it took her a moment to notice that the Doctor hadn't spoken in awhile – which for him was quite disturbing.

Looking up, she saw that he was staring intensely down at her, the needlepoint with the depiction of the Tardis and the words "TARDIS SWEET TARDIS" spelled so meticulously across the white cloth. She gulped nervously, her mouth gone dry and her heartbeat racing.

"Uh…it was supposed to be a gift…for you…it's Christmas next week," she reached for cloth, "my mum said so," she finished lamely.

The mention of her mum brought him out of his reverie, "Well if your _Jackie _says it is…" He didn't finish the thought, the annoyance drained from it.

Not knowing what else to say, she placed the cloth against the frame, ready to cut and set with the backing so it could be ready to hang somewhere. Rose avoided looking at the Doctor, the tension palpable in the room. She knew he was staring at her.

"And this," he said softly, "is _my _gift?"

Rose looked up at him then, "Yeah, I mean, I know it's nothin' big or…anythin' but I thought it'd be nice," there was a twinge of defensiveness in her voice.

Having sensed it, the Doctor sat down next to her, almost careful not to touch her, the bed creaked slightly under his weight, "No Rose – not what I meant. I just…" the sentence was lost as he stared at said gift in her hands.

But Rose couldn't help herself, "What, Doctor?" It was barely a whisper.

His eyes locked on hers and he said with a small grin, "No one's ever given me a Christmas gift before…let alone _made_ me one"

Rose smiled brightly and handed him the framed work, "Well, I'm just too good."

She giggled as he enveloped her in a tight embrace.

**Milkshake**

The Doctor threw the coats over the chair next to him as he sat down. His quick eyes searched the nearly empty restaurant for Rose. She had told him to sit down and he obeyed willingly.

_Blimey, how things have changed. _

He tugged at his cuffs, rolling them up. A heavy sigh escaped him. All he had wanted was to show Rose a lovely evening out complete with a play and delicious dinner.

But things had gone wrong from the start.

First, he ran late because he had lost track of time choosing a bouquet of flowers for her. Then, his scarf got stuck in the taxi and well…yeah.

You think he would have learned by now.

The play was boring, he'd forgotten to make reservations so dinner was no longer an option at the posh place he'd wanted to take her.

He sighed, such a defeated sound, onto the table in front of him. The sound of glass on the tabletop snapped him out of his inner turmoil.

Two large glasses, one filled with chocolate and the other with something yellow, sat in front of him. The Doctor looked up to see Rose in her dark purple, strapless satin gown smiling down at him. Her hair was up and ringlets framed her face. Smokey black eye shadow made her eyes seem brighter. Or maybe that was just her smile – it made everything light up.

She sat down across from him, "Why the pout, Doctor?"

The Doctor covered her hand with his, aware that he was, indeed, pouting.

"I just wanted tonight to be special."

Rose smiled sweetly as she cupped his cheek, caressing it.

"But, Doctor, it is special. Always when it's with you."

He felt himself flush and slid the chocolate milkshake in front of her.

"And this yellow concoction is for me, I gather?"

Nodding, she said, "Yea', banana. Bananas are good, you know."

The Doctor laughed merrily, this was surely one Christmas Eve they wouldn't be forgetting anytime soon. Nor would he want it any other way.

"Yeah, they are. Merry Christmas, Rose," he raised his glass to her.

Rose beamed and tapped her glass with his, "Merry Christmas, Doctor."

And together they watched the snow fall outside the large window, their laughter and teasing breaking the winter's silence.


	4. Lights & Watercolor

**Lights**

Rose's laughter was lost in the breeze that drowned their joviality. He stared at her as she laughed – her hair whipping in the light wind. His hearts felt fuller than they had in a very long time and considering his lifespan – well, it had been quite awhile.

The Doctor had them hovering above the tall buildings and lights of Shiba Park in Minato. There were planets to discover and save, history to be seen, but he couldn't resist showing her more of her earth. Looking at her, he realized that in the large realm of the universe – she was a human girl…_woman_…who belonged in one tiny corner of it. But for him, she'd become so much more.

So, that's how they wound up in Tokyo, Japan. Their legs were dangling over the edge of the entrance of the Tardis. It was dark save some lights of the businesses down below.

He tried not to look at her too long. Then and anytime. Still, it was difficult when he found himself doing that more and more. Focusing on the ring of her laughter, noticing the dark flecks in her honey eyes and the curve of her smile. He didn't remember ever paying this close attention to anything that wasn't the universe and its timelines.

"It's gorgeous – never thought I'd see Japan," her voice was low with reverence.

Grinning, he dragged his eyes from her to look out onto the city below, teasingly, he says, "Well, didn't think you'd see Slitheen and your world ending in ash either…"

He felt a smack on his sleeve, the touch lost among the leather which made him slightly disappointed.

The Doctor was lost in his thoughts that very much included the woman beside him when he heard her sigh.

He looked towards her, "What is it?" Had he done something wrong? It didn't sound like a happy sigh.

Rose shook her head quickly as if she could hear his thoughts. For a moment, he almost feared she could. She rested a hand on his. He swallowed, hoping she didn't notice his trouble in doing so. With much difficulty, he concentrated on the sounds coming out of her mouth. Focusing on her mouth, however, was causing a whole other menagerie of problems.

"Nothing…it's just that…I didn't want to tell you..." she trailed off leaving his mind racing.

"What? Go on then," his voice was low but the urgency noticeable within the words.

Hesitant, she continued, "It's just so…_human_….I didn't want to bother you…"

The Doctor turned his palm to meet hers and squeezed in encouragement.

She looked at him and let it rush from her mouth, "Tomorrow is _my _Christmas – my mum mentioned it in passin' over the phone today…but I know there are other bigger and better things to do…" He knew that she would follow through on it and that he wouldn't hear her complain once because he knew that she loved this life of theirs and everything it entailed.

That's why she was so fantastic.

"'Course not – Christmas _is_ special…taxi at 2 in the morning special," he ignored the gleam of questioning as well as confusion from her eyes and continued, "I'll set the coordinates."

The Doctor made to get up but felt her hand still him from doing so.

She smiled at him, a warm grin that made his chest ache, "It can wait a couple of more minutes."

A large smile flourished as the ache melted into something different but just as intense.

As if on cue, the tall (second tallest, if he wanted to be precise) Tokyo Tower shined brightly with tiny little lights in each of its facets. Rose gasped making his Time Lord Pride shine just as brightly.

"Your wish is my command, Rose Tyler," he whispered, "and Merry Christmas."

Rose inched closer to him, every line of her contour meeting each of his, and placed her head on his shoulder as she sighed happily, "Merry Christmas, Doctor."

**Watercolor**

Rose was looking for the Doctor on the Tardis, finding each room as empty as the one before it. Growing both exasperated and worried, she hurried her step knowing that he had to be _somewhere_. Where could he be?

She opened a door not different from the others and called for him, "Doctor? Doctor?"

No response.

Ready to continue her search, she was about to back out of the room when a small desk in one its corners stopped her. Leaving the door open ajar, she walked towards the corner – her soft steps echoing in the large room.

The room itself was nothing special; in fact, it looked like it had long since been forgotten – dust covered every inch. The only evidence that it wasn't was on the desk that had caught her attention.

On the table were rulers, watercolors, a stray paper here and there and a small sketchbook opened up to a random page. On the page there was a testing of colors and the odd doodle.

Were these the Doctor's?

_No, _she thought, _couldn't be. _

She felt wrong writing it off so quickly, but the Doctor was a man of science and logic – he appreciated the arts…he didn't _create_ them. Not like this.

Again, Rose felt the guilt puddle in her belly. She reached for the sketchbook, so slowly that anyone witnessing would have thought that she'd be afraid of getting bitten. Tracing her finger across the page, she gingerly turned to see what lay on the next one.

Her gasp filled and broke the silence in the room. On the page after, there lay her likeness staring back up at her. Chills ran down her spine as she took in the detail taken in each line, shadow and curve of her face on paper. Only someone who knew her well could have done such a thing. She never sat still long enough to have someone draw her like that.

"Rose?"

His voice made her jump. Immediately she flicked back the page and kept her hands behind her back as she turned.

"Uh…hello…Doctor…just…just, I was looking for you," her voice was thick with guilt – but she'd done nothing wrong…she thought.

The Doctor cleared his throat, "Yes, well, you found me. What is it?" He sounded irritated.

She shook her head and made for the door as he watched her, "Nothin'. I'll be in my room if you need me."

A rustling of papers and the scratching of a chair against the ground flooded the room.

"You saw the drawings," it wasn't a question.

_So close, _she thought as she turned around to face him.

"I…I might have seen one," she confessed.

The Doctor nodded slightly, not meeting her eyes. Suddenly, a chuckle escaped him. Rose's forehead wrinkled with bewilderment.

"It was meant to be a surprise," he made it sound like she should have known what he was talking about.

She didn't.

The puzzlement clear on her face, he explained, "Well, it'll be December 25th on earth during your timeline in about two weeks time and I was…'practicing'."

Rose's mouth open and closed several times before she could form the words, "Practice…what?"

He looked at her, his turn to feel confused, "To give you a drawing…of…" he coughed abruptly, "you."

"Oh…," her eyes widened, "Oh! Christmas…Christmas! I forgot about Christmas!" A list of things that needed doing were already forming in her mind – ever the human.

Then his words caught up with her and she stared at him in something like awe.

"But, you don't…draw."

The Doctor scoffed, "Excuse me, may I remind you - Roman statue…_perfect _likeness down to the broken fingernail – thank you!" his voice was so full of pride that she had to smile.

"How could I forget," if anyone could know her well enough, it was him.

He smiled in return and sat down at his station, returning to his work. The vision still perplexed her, but her heart felt full with something that words couldn't describe.

Before realizing what was happening, she walked towards him, and closed the distance rapidly to wrap her arms around his shoulders and neck – her chest pressed against his back in a tight embrace. She felt him jolt in surprise and sit perfectly still.

Rose closed her eyes and whispered in his ear, "Thank you Doctor." She was about to pull away when she felt his hand on her wrist keeping her there.

She gladly complied.

* * *

_One more to go - hope you're enjoying - thank you for the reviews!_


	5. Red & Christmas

**Red**

"I never understood those stories – the real ones," said Rose, popping a Jelly Baby in her mouth.

The Doctor did the same and saved the rest in his pocket for later. Raising one eyebrow, he considered the comment. "Well, they're meant as cautionary tales. Like little red riding hood – deterrent tale against strangers." He then took to scavenging inside his bigger on the inside pockets for his thermos of tea.

Rose sighed and took to helping him look for the tea (she, somehow, already knew about his hunt) in his other pocket. "Yeah – I get that, but the gore and violence, I mean, what's all that about?" Unearthing the thermos, she offered the Doctor a smug smile and handed it over.

"Well, cautionary wouldn't be cautionary without a threat, would it?" He grabbed the tea and made to offer her the first drink.

Nodding, she took a long sip of the warm sweet blend. She handed it back.

"Why are we talking about this anyway? It's Christmas…shouldn't we be talking about…snowmen, snow…gingerbread…turkey…blimey, I'm a bit hungry." The Doctor's stomach grumbled in agreement.

Rose groaned, "You're impossible." She flipped his coat open and dug into the inner pocket took out some biscuits. "We're not talking about snowmen and turkey because it doesn't feel like Christmas because we're imprisoned and being prepared for execution in the morning, Doctor." An exasperated sigh filled the room.

"Oh…right," the Doctor let out a heavy breath.

"So, how about fixing that problem first, then we can talk Christmas and turkey and then we can go see about those fairy tales, yeah?" her voice, though tired, was amused and very un-worried.

The Doctor looked about the small prison cell and brandished the sonic screwdriver about. A hum and a beep later the lock holding them clicked open. He looked at her and smirked, "Alright then – what were you saying about a turkey?"

Rose laughed giddily as the Doctor pulled them to their feet and together they ran in search of the Tardis.

**Christmas**

The Doctor looked about the large room. It was decorated with stockings and hanging lights. The large tree stood as the center of attention - its odor quite different than the plastic one he remembered in Jackie's flat that Christmas. It was adorned in sporadic strands of tinsel, decorations shaped like candy and even a few handmade children's ornaments. He had turned on the lights after waking up from a restless sleep – their glow showing against his skin.

Everything was quiet – life had become so different.

And _so_ much better.

Barefoot steps coming down the hallway made his mouth blossom into a smile. Even if they didn't live together, he'd know those steps. He knew that no matter where they were, he'd recognize her heart anywhere.

Rose sat next to him on their couch (he had a couch now) and cuddled into his side. Her head on his shoulder, she whispered, "Merry Christmas – you're up early, it's not even light out."

He turned to place a kiss on her forehead, "Merry Christmas, Rose. I couldn't stay asleep."

"Howcome?" her brow furrowed – she'd be lying if she said a small part of her didn't fear that he'd come to regret this life of theirs.

"Remember our first Christmas together?" he was distracting her from her worry – she decided to let it drop for now.

"Yeah – robotic Santas and Sycorax are hard to forget. Oh, and there was that small issue with you changing your face and all," she rolled her eyes and trailed her fingertips along his arm. Rose loved him in anything he wore – but she had a soft spot for him like this, all disheveled in a white t shirt and striped jim jam bottoms. She stifled a giggle.

"Oh, you knew it was me from the beginning – you were just being human is all," he teased.

"Oi! Insulting your species now, yeah?" her tone was meant to scold, but she couldn't help but smile at him.

He grinned in return and hugged her closer to him. Close would never be close enough.

"Did you have any other Christmases without me?" it was a quiet question – one filled with sadness and fear. Things that he never wanted to hear anywhere near or from her again.

"Well…yeah. Unavoidable that," he didn't want to think too much about how he was then. He'd changed after Rose had left. The Doctor much rather preferred talking about the present which held so much more than he could ever have imagined for himself. Still, he knew that Rose held that fear that he'd regret being human and, most of all, staying with her. He also knew that she felt inadequate even though he spent every moment he could trying to prove it otherwise.

"Tell me about them?"

The Doctor knew he could change the subject and she'd let him get away with it – but he couldn't do that to her…not anymore.

"Well, I had one just after…I lost you," his voice broke slightly and she stilled her fingertips on his skin, choosing instead to hold his hand, "That's when I first Donna. She saved me a bit then…and quite more than a bit after. But…it…it just wasn't good." They remained silent for awhile…memories of that dark time shadowing them both.

"Then there was the Titanic! Met some nice people...lost some nice people." Rose squeezed his hand, their fingers intertwined.

The Doctor turned to look at her properly, "How about you?"

It was her turn to smile without mirth, "Each one was the same – mum, Pete, Tony and Mickey – no Doctor." In a nutshell, she'd described just how much they had lost when they lost each other.

Unable to resist the urge to heal the heartbreak in her voice, he dipped down slightly to meet his lips with hers. It was a heated kiss – years of loss and broken hearts melted into something new beneath their touch. His hands, one in her hair and the other on her hip now, beckoned her closer. The Doctor felt her fingertips on his collar, trailing heated paths on his skin. For a moment, he felt the way he had back when he had two hearts – he could feel the earth's rotation – the time lines swirling around him. It always felt that way when he touched her.

Their kiss was dangerously close to turning into something more – something he really, _really_ wouldn't mind just about then, but he knew their conversation hadn't ended yet. He never intended to leave Rose wondering about his thoughts or feelings ever again.

He ended the kiss gently – fiery kisses melting into lingering chaste ones.

"You asked me something, before the ghosts of Christmases past, so to speak," his voice was a whisper on her lips.

Rose's lips were swollen from the kisses, their sight making him almost forget the situation altogether. He forced himself to remain focused, however - especially since she looked confused.

He smiled down at her, his wondrous, impossible, incredible girl, "You asked me why I couldn't stay asleep, remember?"

A gleam of recognition in her eye, she simply nodded.

He leaned down and kissed her lips, "I was sitting here thinking how many moments I've missed with you because of the universe. Because there was always something else I just _had_ to do. I thought of how amazing a human life can be with its blinking lights and hugs and caresses. Even with it's 9 to 5 jobs and grocery lists. I missed so much….not just when I didn't have you – but when I did as well." The Doctor stared intensely down at Rose's wide, disbelieving eyes. Her eyes held one question for him at the moment – one he knew without her having to ask.

_Do you regret it?_

And so he answered her honestly, "There is no one I'd rather live this life with than you. Now or ever. I couldn't' stay asleep because I don't want to miss one moment. I woke up wanting to kiss you – and I wouldn't have missed any of this for the world."

They held each other tighter, the Doctor dipping down to kiss her as he planned to do for the rest of their lives.

* * *

_I hope you all had/are having a wonderful Christmas :)_

_There's a bonus chapter!  
_


	6. Bonus: Love

**Love**

Rose had a book open on her lap – it was _Jane Eyre _by Charlotte Bronte. She'd read it before and loved it, but couldn't bring herself to enjoy it right then. It wasn't because she was sad, or angry. It wasn't because she suddenly hated the story. It was none of those reasons.

The reason why she couldn't concentrate, why the world could end and she probably _still _wouldn't notice was because _he _was near her.

The Doctor was sitting on the other end of the sofa in the library with her. The fire was crackling - the only sound to be heard in the bigger-on-the-inside ship. He was reading his favorite Dickens novel – a sly grin on his face.

She could sit there for an eternity memorizing his every freckle, crinkle and angle and never ever get bored.

Suddenly, he turned to look at her and she jumped in surprise and embarrassment. She led her eyesight back to her book and prayed pathetically that it was the right side up this time.

"Rose? Are you all right?" a genuine concern in his voice.

_Bugger, upside down. _

"Yea' yea' fine," she said quickly.

She could hear some rustling but refused to look up from behind her book for fear that he'd see the blush on her cheeks.

"Rose." _his voice sounded a lot closer that time, didn't it?_

Deciding to risk it, she looked up and squeaked when she realized the Doctor had not only inched closer to her – he was right in front of her.

He smiled tenderly as he took her book away and laid it gently on the table behind her. Doing so caused him to graze not only against her arm and shoulder, but made his face inch dangerously close to hers.

Instead of inching back he remained near her – she could feel his breath on her neck and it made her shiver.

"Doctor?" her tone was nothing more than a whisper but the word was loud in the quiet library.

"Rose," in her name there echoed so many emotions. He said her name right before taking the final inch toward her lips, covering them with his.

It was like nothing she had ever felt before. She'd been kissed before, but she realized how foolish she had been in calling her previous experiences as such. She felt the kiss in every inch of her being – from the crown of her head to the tingling in her toes. His tongue searched for hers and they mingled together naturally, like they had done this a thousand of times before.

But they hadn't – so, as much as it was simply gorgeous to be kissing him, there was tentativeness in her response to him. Her hands stayed firmly on her lap, gripping each of her thighs, while one of his hands rested on the armrest she sat against and the other grazed her arm.

He separated himself enough to murmur, "Is this…okay?" There was actual worry in his voice.

She pushed away her insecurities at being the human shop girl and closed the distance between them to capture his lips in another kiss. Because even though there were those worries lingering beneath her skin, there was no way that she was missing out on experiencing him the way she had always wanted to.

Instantly, like a wave unleashed, her hands left their place on her lap to tug gently at his hair and trace her fingertips across his neck and collar bone. He trembled beneath her touch and she smiled in their kiss, making him do the same.

Eventually they separated enough to their breath mix, the tingling of each other's kiss still on their lips.

Rose looked up into his deep brown eyes and just had to ask…

"Doctor…how…I mean…why…" she wanted to ask so many things: _why me? why now? _

She saw the spark of recognition at everything she wanted to ask and couldn't.

"Because…you're Rose," and it really did appear as simple as that. She felt her mouth open slightly at this silent declaration.

Then he smiled mischievously as he said, "Besides, I saw you staring and reading your book upside down, so I know you fancied me." He huffed proudly.

Rose chuckled (because he wasn't wrong) and smacked him on the chest.

Laughing, they continued with their most novel distraction and new favorite hobby.

* * *

_I actually wrote this as part of my Christmas gift to my bf - he supports and enables my addiction! He also said I should share it with me fellow shippers. Be safe and have fun everyone!_


End file.
